What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Did Muhammad Ali ask Dundee to cut his gloves off before Eddie Futch stopped the fight in Thrilla in Manila?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Make Nazis afraid again!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Why do so many men on the internet try to compete with women, or try to "humble" and bash them? There's so many videos across my tiktok and YouTube of men claiming how they're wanting to get back at women and put them in thier place.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why are black women the largest unmarried group in the United States of America?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How should you handle a situation where your friend tells you they like someone who also likes you? Should you tell them or continue as normal?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

TEXT:

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

How can I stop drinking?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What can I do when I'm ugly on both outside and inside? What do I do? Cut myself off from the world to make everyones lives better? I'm a monster. I hurt feelings, and I say what was said to me. I feel like I'm nothing but a burden. What do I do?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What is the most sentimental item you inherited from someone dear to you and what does it mean to you?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.